The X-Calvinist Corner is a page on this website that shares the stories of people who were once Calvinist but have left Calvinism for a more Arminian theology. This series (The X-Calvinist Corner Files) highlights one of the testimonies from the X-Calvinist Corner in each installment.
Today’s testimony is from a man named Scott:
I became an adherent to the Calvinistic theological system long after I became a Christian. I guess it was 1996 or so when I started peering into this strange new christian worldview. I say strange because I started out not having any theological understanding (I guess not many do right out of the gate). What I did start out as was more Charismatic, you know the belief that God still performs miracles not just the miracle of salvation, the belief in the power of prayer, visions, dreams, all that. Well the book that was passed along to me by a friend was Lorraine Boettners little tome, “The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination”.
I think after some of the fluff from Charismatica I wanted more of an intelligent faith, something that would help me make sense of all that I read in the word. I was sold on the Idea that other competing views were substandard. The first part of my inculcation into the Idea of Calvinisim was that God didnt woo people into salvation, he dragged you to the cross, uh but you came willingly. I then saw that God seemded to ordain individuals from all eternity unto salvation; I saw that clearly so I didnt question what foreknowledge was and all that and how it all worked out. Next came all the scriptural proofs of how God is sovereign over all creation: lowing cows, plant life, molecules. And that if God were not involved to that extent it would fall apart (He holds all things by the power of his word).
Scripturally I just thought that Romans 9-11 was unassailable. I reasoned that the whole Jacob and Esau thing was evidence as well (albeit kind of Harsh I thought). God wanted to show his Love to Israel and not another so it was pretty concrete for me. There simply was no other data that was coming that would convince me otherwise. Now all this is very simplified. I did get into R.C Sproul, Piper, J. Edwards, John Owen, and other sundry divines.
The thing that started eating me alive to the point that I was wresting with God and angry was when I began taking Calvinism to its logical conclusion. In my limited layperson way I began talking out loud to myself as to what this all looked like from the damned perspective and the saved. I began saying: ok, ok if God demands all people everywhere to repent and some are saved and some damned, then the ones predestined to death cannot lift a finger to answer the inward call to come (not given faith) yet are eternally lost and are held accountable. Then I would do a mock interview with someone in that horrible condition (hell). I would say, you know if you had only received Christ you wouldnt be here, they would say oh no I was sent here I had no CHOICE, no FREEDOM to do otherwise(on Calvinism). I used to hear some Calvinists seemingly equivocate on this (not all). At once they would say its your own fault all the while stating that God from all Eternity didnt elect you. You would have to say God is the reason you’re in hades.
So it seemed to me that it was analogous to demanding a paralytic to ascend a flight of stairs and then when he obviously couldn’t respond to your request, setting him on fire. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, among other things. Like a lot of people who have journeyed out of Calvinism, they were mad not at God after all but a faulty system of thought that just didn’t seem biblical. I began reading books by Joseph Dongell & Jerry Walls, Roger Olson and Austin Fischer, just anything I could get my hands on. Thank you for the opportunity to share this which is very comforting and therapeutic if you will.
