“God doesn’t need me to round up the Elect. But He gives me the unspeakable privilege of participating in this work of redemption.” R. C. Sproul, Amazing Grace (DVD) Arminians must be asleep at the…
Humor
Theologians Explain Why the Chicken Crossed the Road (Humor)
Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.
Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.
Mark Driscoll: The chicken crossed because of the rooster’s leadership.
Rachel Held Evans: We’re talking about chickens here, not pigs.
Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.
John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.
Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.
C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.
Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.
Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.
Universalist: All chickens cross the road.
Calvinist Santa: The Movie
[Humor]
View here for original script
For comments, view here.
Calvinist Santa (Satire)
[Humor]
We enter Santa’s workshop. Over by the desk we see two elves talking. One is Legolass, who has been Santa’s secratary for the past 200 years, and is moving on to new work. The other is Qeebler, who is taking over the secretary resposibilities. As the scene opens, Legolass is pulling out a large scroll from his desk drawer. Let’s listen:
My Cat Illustrates the Difference Between Arminianism and Calvinism
[Humor]
A picture is worth a thousand words, or so they say. Instead of writing a 2,000 word post on the difference between Arminianism and Calvinism, I have posted two pictures of my cat.
The difference between Arminianism and Calvinism is this: Arminians believe that grace is resistible. Calvinists believe that grace is irresistible.
First, let’s look at the Calvinistic concept of irresistible grace. Those to whom God gives grace will certainly receive it. God’s grace is provided in a way that it is not coercive, because God works in the hearts and minds of the elect in such a way that they freely want to receive what He provides. Below my cat illustrates what this looks like:
Popular Phrases and the Christians Who Should Have Coined Them
Below are some popular phrases, and next to the phrase is the name of the Christian who should have coined it. This is meant to be lighthearted. Additional suggestions welcome. —————————————————————————————- Nothing is certain but…
Calvinist Air Safety
Some theological humor: Calvinist Air Safety
Killing Ants
[A bit of satire to make a point about the Calvinistic view of election] When I was a kid I used to get a lot of enjoyment from killing ants. I loved to stir up…
JESUS MODERATES DEBATE BETWEEN CALVIN AND ARMINIUS (SATIRE)
In heaven, Jesus decided to host and moderate a debate between Calvin and Arminius, reserving the right if need be to question each man’s answer. Being perfected, Christ understood that both men would seek only…
Arminian Minute: Eye of the Tiger & Romans 9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21g_zKK_FTk
A Quiz for Your Calvinist Friends (Satire)
A little quiz for your Calvinist Friends. Inspired by the ever resourceful JC Thibodaux and by a Calvinist dude named Jay Banks. Enjoy.
Genesis 25:23 The LORD said to [Rebekah], “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”
Q: What was in Rebekah’s womb?
A. Two nations and two peoples.
B. One elect person and one reprobate person.
C. Don’t even try to refer to the Old Testament for your exegesis of Romans 9. Heretic.
Don’t Be a Jerk
We would do well to apply the message of the cartoon in the attachment to the Arminian/Calvinist debate (see the attachment). The debate is very important, ultimately having to do with the character of God.…
The Calvinist Dictionary (Satire)
A dictionary to help Arminians better understand Calvinist terminology.
(Don’t take this too seriously, this is meant in good fun)
All: The elect
Altar Call: An insult to God
Arminianism: Man centered theology
Assurance: hoping that you’re elect
Augustine: The first church father.
Calvinism: The gospel
Call (effectual): to be irresistibly dragged
Call (general): God’s justification to condemn the reprobate.
Al Jolson vs. Toby Mac Theology
1) Calvinist theology found in the opening lyrics to a famous song by Al Jolson: YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU You made me love you I didn’t want to do it I didn’t want to…
Calvinist Justice
Calvinist Justice Some time ago a Calvinist made a parody of the song “Amazing Grace,” called “Arminian grace,” where the Calvinist confuses Arminianism with Pelagianism. It can be found here. Here is an attempt to…
Six Ways That Calvin is Better than Arminius
[Disclaimer: the following is tongue-in-cheek. It is the opinion of the author, and does not necessarily represent the view of SEA, which is generally true of SEA blog posts, but perhaps deserves special mention for this post, which is so bold as to suggest on SEA’s own blog ways that Calvin is actually better than Arminius!]
Today is the big 5-0-0 for Mr. John Calvin. Although he isn’t our favorite theologian, he deserves special recognition in honor of his big day. So we humbly offer six ways that Calvin is better than Arminius.
Calvin and Hobbes on Fatalism
The ever insightful Calvin: :
Stuff Young Calvinists Like (Satire)
The following is an attempt at satire about stuff young Calvinists like. The idea came from this blog (which is funny but crass). Hopefully you will find this in good taste. 🙂
In most cases there is an obvious Arminian corollary. These are listed in italics.
Consistent Calvinism FAQ (Satire)
Disclaimer: The following is a light-hearted satire on Calvinism and not an attack on Calvinists. 🙂 Q. How should I approach evangelism? A. You should evangelise if you believe that you are included in the…
A Calvinist Perspective on “Jesus Loves the Little Children”
[Note: the following is satire and not meant to be taken too seriously] “Jesus loves the little children… All the children of the world… Red and yellow, black and white… They are precious in His…
