New Calvinist Bible – Limited Atonement (satire)

, posted by kingswoodhart

The following post is a satire, written from the perspective of an overzealous Calvinist.

This post is part of a series on the New Calvinist Bible (NCB) – a new Bible translation designed to show Calvinism in all its glory. Click here to start at the beginning of the series.

Limited atonement (also known as “definite atonement”) is a doctrine offered in answer to the question, “for whose sins did Christ atone?” The Bible teaches that Christ died for those whom God gave him to save. Christ died, indeed, for many people, but not all. Specifically, Christ died for the invisible Church — the sum total of all those who would ever rightly bear the name “Christian”.”

Quite why a new Bible translation is needed to make this doctrine any clearer, I just don’t know. It’s so obvious from traditional Bible translations that even Calvin never bothered to state it explicitly. Still, for the sake of those who still have doubts, the following sample verses show how no one will question this doctrine any longer:

1 John 2:1-2 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our the sins of the elect, and not for ours the elect only but also for the sins of the whole world.

Hebrews 2:9 But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone the elect.

John 1:29 The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world elect!”

Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned — every one — to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all the elect.

1 Timothy 2:3-6 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all elect people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all the elect, which is the testimony given at the proper time.

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any of the elect should perish, but that all the elect should reach repentance.

John 4:42 They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world elect.”

Psalm 145:8-9 The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all the elect, and his mercy is over all that he has made elected.

Matthew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I would never have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and because you were not willing elect!

Romans 5:18 Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men the elect.

Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost elect.

Romans 11:32 For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all the elect.

This was originally posted at The Predestination Station, where comments can be made.

Unless otherwise indicated, all pre-Calvinization scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. This content was produced without any involvement or endorsement of these entities.