Here’s an Offer You Can’t Refuse

, posted by JC_Thibodaux

In our frequent exchanges with those who accept the idea of exhaustive determinism, we often hear that it’s not a fair comparison to say that their philosophy makes people into robots, radio controlled planes, puppets (to include sockpuppets), or some similar deterministic automaton. They insist, despite every aspect of our being and our decisions having been meticulously crafted due to the ‘Potter’s freedom,’ people actually do things of their own free will and are thus themselves still responsible for their own actions. For anyone who believes this to be a viable line of reasoning, we present a special offer….


“Ever had that urge to accomplish something truly vile, but don’t want to be held responsible? Well your wait is over! Introducing:

Radio-controlled, flying free-agent ceramic sock-bots!

Just wind up the sock-bot, program it with your explicit instructions, then watch it go! No need to worry about getting blamed for it doing what you want – the sock-bot is responsible! Our patented Secondary Causes™ remote technology ensures that there’s always a few levels of causation sitting right between your instructions and the dirty deed itself.

Only the sock-bots will be culpable because they do it of their own free will! Just watch as they always freely choose to do exactly what they’ve been programmed to do! They’re walking -make that flying- contradictions! Fun for the whole family! Collect them! Trade them with your friends! Arbitrarily toss a bunch of them into the incinerator to make yourself look good! Radio-controlled, flying free-agent ceramic sock-bots are the perfect fit for all your blame-delegation needs! Order yours today!”

**Offer not valid or well-meant in Hawaii, Nebraska, Wyoming, West Virginia or Atlantis. Expires October 31st, 1517. Must be 14 years or younger with a valid credit card. Some restrictions apply: supplies are limited -specifically to those who’ve been unconditionally chosen to receive some of them. Warning: blog entry to be taken only as seriously as it applies to your actual worldview. Not responsible for brain hemorrhages or other injuries that may result from lack of sense of humor.